Losing my Pacers....

"One of my old pastors once told me that there are 3 critical people that you should always have in your life... a pacer, a racer, and a tracer." ~Isaiah Whelply~
These are words of wisdom that I got one day from my friend/ home group leader. He explained to me that your pacer is the person that you look up to. Of course the ultimate pacer for us all is God, but this is more of a tangible pacer. The one whom you feel comfortable going to in times of crisis. The one who you can seek guidance from and feel they are directing you down the right path. Then there comes the racer. He explained to me that your racers are those who are taking life's journey with you. The people who come along beside you and encourage you when you slow down because they too are going through the same thing and can relate. I think that there are two types of racers in everyones life, those who are there for a season, and those you can count on to race beside you for the rest of your life. Finally we come to the tracer. The tracer in your life is the person(s) who are following after you, in other words you are THEIR pacer. Well I say all that to tell you that in a sense I am losing my pacers and I have mixed feelings about it. I joined my church about a year and a half ago and I came to it a very broken person. I had been burned by some members of my previous church, who I THOUGHT were my extended family, and it was also during that time that things were starting to get REALLY bad with my mom and her drinking. When I first got there I didn't really want to talk to anyone. I was still nursing my wounds from my previous church and was determined not to let people in and hurt me again. Now anyone who knows Southlands knows that this is simply impossible. This church has an affinity for healing the broken hearted and I can not even begin to count the number of times that I have encountered people who told me, " I came to Southlands a very broken person." The people there are SO genuine that you can't help but let them in. Well it just so happened that one Wednesday I went to Prayer group (when we still met at the Brea Community Center) and stood next to this couple that I had seen before, but never talked to. As soon as prayer was over the girl introduced herself as Kat Whelply and her husband as Isaiah Whelply. She said that they had seen me around church and always wanted to talk to me but I always seemed to disappear as soon as church was over (I told you I was determined not to let anyone in). After a short chat she asked me if I had a life group and I said No and came to find out that they lived very close to me. She invited me to a girls night she was having and told me that the next week they would be meeting as a life group. That was the start of a beautiful friendship/mentorship. I have been SO blessed to have the Whelps in my life and I don't think they know just how much they have influenced my life. It's funny cos I was always envious of those people who would say," So and so is my mentor," and then they fell into my lap. They have been there for me through all of the nonsense with my mom and throughout the whole process with my foot. One of the funniest memories I have of them was one Monday evening they came over to take me out to dinner. I spent the entire evening waiting nervously for them to tell me something. In my mind I thought I had done something bad and they were going to reprimand me, when in reality they were just being the kind, generous people that they are and taking me out to dinner.
Tonight I have a heavy heart because on Tuesday tmy pacers will be moving to North Carolina. I am so torn up about this because on the one hand I am VERY excited about what God has in store for them ( they are going to help some friends who planted a church there almost 2 years ago) and on the other hand I am very sad to see them go. It's been hard to put on a brave face, and I have been doing a pretty good job in their presence, but as soon as I am alone the tears begin to flow. I know that I am not really "losing" them but they are no longer right down the street, within reach. This is going to be one of the hardest weekends for me because I don't want them to leave with a memory of my miserable face, so for them I will pull myself up by my invisible boot straps and I will send them off with a smile and a warm hug and look forward to the next chapter in our lives.